So I got my first roll of film back from my old Kodak Six-20 camera, and all the negatives are completely and utterly washed out. I first suspected that my…less than careful…respooling of the first roll may have been to blame, but then a flashlight and a dark room revealed the true culprit: leaky bellows. I went ahead and stuck an SB-25 in the back of it and made the shot you see below, to illustrate the problem. All those little pinpricks of light you see at the top of the bellows, those are holes where light can get out and, of course, in, ruining my film.
I found a formula on the Interwebs for a flexible adhesive that should help, and I applied the first coat today, with more coming tomorrow and the next day, as it needs time to dry. With any luck, once that’s all finished, the bellows will be light-proof again, and I can try again with another roll. In case anyone is wondering, the recipe is one teaspoon Elmer’s glue, two drops of dish soap, and two drops of lamp black oil paint. Just mix that all up, and apply it to the inside of the bellows with a brush. You’ve gotta let it dry at least overnight between coats (and you’ll probably want several of them: mine’s still showing a few pinpricks even with the first coat on), and 24 hours before using. Also, after applying it, you want to fully expand and contract the bellows a couple times, to make sure it really gets in there.
To address the other part of the title, at the local Golden Corral, there’s a fishbowl on the counter that says to drop your business card in, and you can win lunch for you and twenty friends. So I did, a couple months ago, and yesterday I was awakened by a man from Ameriprise Financial. My first reaction, of course, was something to the effect of “Financial company, oh Dear God what happened to my debit card and/or bank account?!” Turns out, though, that they’re actually a financial planning company, and they’d drawn my card out of the bowl. Deal was, he said, I bring twenty friends, he gives us a short spiel on their financial planning services, and then picks up the tab and leaves. Sounds awesome, right? And at the time, it was.
But of course, you’re still thinking about the title. “What’s devilish about a free meal?”, you may ask. The answer is, it turns out, that there is no meal. I get the confirmation email today, and it tells me to send back a list of 20 friends, and that we all have to be over the age of 21. Problem: I’m still 18. So I email the guy back, asking for some sort of leniency, to be nonchalantly told that they’ll just have to draw another card and pick another winner. Not even a “Hey, sorry we made you look like a jerk for inviting people to a free lunch that’s not gonna happen.” Did I mention that the confirmation email came more than 24 hours after the phone call? Yeah.
So, that’s where the title comes from. Ameriprise Financial is now officially Satan, as far as I’m concerned. At this point, I really have no idea who I’d go to if I found myself in need of financial planning services one day, or a friend needed a referral, but I at least know one company I wouldn’t pick. I guess that’s a start, at least.
Tags: Ameriprise Financial, home, kodak, Leaky Bellows, Satan, Shady Advertising, six-20
Pretend I posted the last comment I made on this page